FRANKLIN-This time of year, the hubbub of bowl games, the NSA’s latest abominations, and Fox News’ continuing obsession with Obamacare can easily drown out really interesting news items. However, we here at the Times-Picayune like to keep our loyal readers informed. One such news story concerns Ms. Bonita Lynn Vela of Franklin, Indiana. Ms. Vela, an amateur vivisectionist specializing in home castration techniques, was arrested after she apparently attempted the impromptu emasculation of an unwilling participant.

The alleged victim was the boyfriend of one of her female spawn. For obvious reasons the gentleman prefers to remain anonymous. It seems that after smoking a small quantity of what must have been some excellent weed, Ms. Vela became a little suspicious of her potential son-in-law’s activities, and like any red-blooded American mom, she took decisive action.

According to reports Vela lured the unsuspecting dude to her trailer where she and two henchmen…